Motherhood

Learning to Give

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This week I am blessed by watching my children learn about giving. I am lucky enough to have the world’s best mom. She chooses to be good, to do good and to teach good.

This last Christmas, my mom gave a crisp $100 bill to each of her grandchildren and a note with some instructions:

Dear Matthew, Katharine, Claire and Daphne,

I am so proud that each of you show caring in some way for other people. We live in a big world in which all people are connected in some way. In 2020, we have seen an example of this in how the coronavirus has spread all over the world. We have also seen the positive ways that people have helped each other in this difficult time.

All 4 of you are growing up in families who share with others. You share your talents, your friendships, and your money with others. Early on your parents taught you to share part of the money you have been given as gifts.

This year I am giving each of you $100 to research and support a cause or causes you believe in. I would like you to look at different causes and see what is important to you. It might be something your family already supports or it might be something you find by searching in your local community, our country or beyond. For me, I support groups who feed those who are hungry, who need shelter, educate, or help in other ways in difficult times. These do not have to be your choices.

I hope that you will share your ideas with each other. It might be interesting to see what your cousins choose. The money does not have to go to one organization or group. It can be divided however you choose. During 2021, or next Thanksgiving at the latest, please let me know how you invested your $100.

I love you all and am thankful every day for all of you.

Gram

Pretty awesome. My kids have spent the last few months thinking about the causes they could support and how they could help. Katharine learned about the rainforests at school this year, and chose to support the Rainforest Alliance. Matthew thought that everyone should have food and supported the Park City Christian Center. Both of these two kids love to ski, and are concerned that climate change will make the snow go away and supported P.O.W. (Protect Our Winters). Finally, they feel like every kid should be able to go to college and chose to support the Park City Education Foundations “Bright Futures” program.

As they made their donations this week, my kids learned that giving feels good. Giving helps others. Giving makes the world a better place. Giving is something that you are born to do. Giving is also something that you have to practice and keep learning more about.

Thanks Mom (Gram) for passing on a piece of you.

Watching my Daughter

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Despite what has been a year-long respite from my blog, I have been wanting to write. Seemingly life comes with many trade-offs, even though I often resist accepting that reality. Blogging has been one I have had to give on (temporarily).

I am sitting on vacation, drinking coffee, overlooking Lake Champlain, thinking about my daughter. Katharine is 9 1/2 now and this last week of vacation has been filled with storytelling, giggles, cartwheels, reading, snuggling, sass, and an occasional pout or a tear.

I love spending time watching her, seeing her discover new places and learn about the world around her. I love hearing her speak French when ordering croissants in Montreal, paddling a kayak solo across a lake, casting a fishing rod over and over again confident that she will catch a fish, swimming in the pool and orchestrating her cousins in the filming of a movie on my iPhone (see outtake scene below).

I also see love watching her grow up. But, it is also hard to let go of those little kid things that seem to be fading quickly.

She will still come and give me a hug in the morning, and sit on my lap for about 3 minutes, but then is off to do make herself breakfast.

She will still color with her little cousins for just a few minutes, but then is decides to go upstairs to “rock-out” to music in her room.

She will still play with Legos with her brother for a few minutes, but then is off snuggled up in a chair in the corner reading her Kindle.

The passage of time is real. She is such a good kid. But, I don’t know if I am ready.

To All The Mothers on Mother’s Day

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Thank you to all the mothers out there (especially mine!). Your tireless and constant commitment to caring for, loving, praising, teaching and supporting your kids is what makes this world a better place.  I only hope that I can give to my kids what I see so many of you giving.

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I was lucky enough today to spend the day with my mom (and of course my lovely kiddos and Jon),  I consider myself the fortunate beneficiary of her love over all of these years.  Thanks Mom!

 

Being a Mom

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Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there.  I hope that this day finds you relaxing and taking a few moments for yourself.  My morning has started out wonderfully – sleeping in as much as possible (almost made 8am!), coffee in bed, time to write and my cute littles helping Jon with breakfast.  

I became a mom in 2009 when Katharine came into this world.  It seemed like a long time coming with a miscarriage along the way.  My mind was blown away by this little package of joy (and tears) that we had created.  Jon and I lived in Phoenix and brought this little bundle home to our small apartment, not knowing what we had gotten into.


Today, we are blessed with a caring, intelligent, strong, opinioned little 7 1/2 year old who is out to take on the world.  She makes me smile every day.  Posed below helping with Mother’s Day brunch preparation.  


Two years and 4 months later, our family became complete when Matthew was born.  By this time, we had settled back into Park City and I thought I had this mom thing down.  1 + 1 definitely equaled way more than 2.  Matthew was a calm little one, just rolling with it when his two year old sister gave him aggressive hugs and tried to “help.”

Matthew just turned five years old, and has fully lived up to his nickname (#shifty), so pictures of him not moving are hard to find.  He is one of the most kind, earnest kids I have ever met.  He loves life and makes us laugh daily.  I have never met a five year old who builds Legos like he can, and he still snuggles me every morning.  Posed below at his first ever t-ball game.  


Being a mother is more than I ever imagined.  It has challenged me to slow down and take it in, with the knowledge that these days won’t last forever.  Here are a few things that I have learned in the last seven years that in reflection have helped me to become a better person.  

  • Being a mom means being comfortable with constant change.  Early in Katharine’s life I remember thinking, I have finally figured this thing out (happened to be relative to her sleeping).  The next day maybe even the next hour, things changed.  Before kids, I thought I had life figured out.  I had a plan, and overall things seemed to go according to the plan.  Now, that just doesn’t work (it probably wasn’t working before either).  Having kids makes it incredibly obvious that you have to be flexible.  
  • Being a mom has helped me enjoy the journey so much more.  Often times before kids, I would set a goal and celebrate when I reached it.  Not a bad thing, but what I missed in that process was enjoying the actual journey.  With my kids, the journey is the fun.  Matthew is learning t-ball right now, and last week I went to his game and just giggled the whole time as they ran all over the field doing about everything but playing t-ball.  
  • Being a mom means you have to understand your values.  The clearer that I have been on what matters to me, what I value, the better I am for my kids.  One of the strongest examples of this for me has been with working out.  I have had an on and off love affair with fitness my entire life.  The last four years I have refocused myself on being strong and fit in order to live the healthiest life I can.  I value this and now so do my kids.
  • Being a mom means little eyes are always watching.  I want to role model for Katharine and Matthew that you can be a confident, smart, caring mom and worker at the same time.  I hope that this helps them to know that anything is possible. 
  • Being a mom is about helping my kids make their own dreams come true.  We talk about this a lot with together.  We can’t do it for them, it is about them identifying what their dreams are, working hard to make them happen and enjoying their own journey.  

I am humbled by how lucky I feel on this Mother’s Day.  Being a mom is the best.

Through the Eyes of a Child

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What a great day.  One that helps me to envision what the next ten years may feel like (knock on wood our kids still like us for ten years).  We went to our first Broadway musical as a family.  It was a big kid thing, with Matthew turning five in a few weeks.

My loves got all dressed up, and we took off for an outing as a family date.  An awesome show, great company, and a day to reflect on how lucky that I am.  The most memorable part of the day was Matthew on my lap at the theater, clapping in earnest, yelling “Bravo” at the end of the first act.

Art through the eyes of a child.  He was in awe of the performance, and in reflection, I am in awe of him.  Sometimes you forget how amazing the things are that you get to live, until you see them through the eyes of a child.

There Should Be More Girls

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Tonight when putting Katharine (6 1/2) to bed and talking about her day, she asked me an important and hard to answer question.  “Mom, why aren’t there more girls in my mountain biking camp?”  First of all, mountain biking camp!  I know, only in Park City does a 6 1/2 year old have a bike nicer than I did at age 25, and get to go to a camp to learn to ride trails that I only got brave enough to take on 15 years ago.

She proceeded to say, “Having more girls would be more fun.  Plus mom, we can do anything that boys can do.”  Proud mommy moment.  After a few minutes, I realized that I had never answered her question.  Why aren’t there more girls?  I proceeded to tell her that at my work, I often times am the only girl so I know how she feels.  I shared with her that it would be more fun if there were more of us (not stated to her…and more productive, and more diverse in opinions, and better for business).  I told her that the good news is that I work with a ton of girls.  In fact, at my company, there are more girls than boys (we are over 60% female).  She gave me a bright-eyed smile.  I told her that in my office there are actually about 600 girls.  She proceeded to ask me if there were only a few boys because that would be “cool”, to which I said nope, about 500.  She was pretty jazzed that at my work the girls outnumbered the boys.  We talked about it more and I told her that it was actually really great that there were all kinds of people at my work…boys, girls, young people, old people, white people, black people (I know in Utah!).  She thought that it would be “better if in her mountain biking class there could be all kinds of people too.”

But, I never answered her question.  Why aren’t there more girls?  I want to protect her from some of the truths that are probably behind that question.  Maybe more parents believe their boys should be mountain bikers than girls?  Maybe society teaches little girls to choose ballet camp instead (trust me Katharine wants to do that too, and Matthew has never asked).  I avoided the question, hoped to teach her that girls can do anything boys can do, and vice versa, and hoped that what she remembers is that having all kinds of people in all things makes everything better.

Girls Weekend: The First of Many (Let’s Hope)

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I am one lucky momma.  This weekend I had the luxury of taking Katharine (my now 5 3/4 year old – that 3/4 is very important to her) for her first girls weekend.  I was coming off a very busy week at work (fall budgeting, executive retreat in Southern Utah).  The prompting of the girls weekend location (Seattle) was because I had a business committment there on Friday morning.  A few weeks ago, as we were planning for this busy week, I was lamenting being gone out of town from Jon and the kids for 4 of the 5 weeknights.  So, we decided it was a great time for the first of what will hopefully be many girls weekends (and boys weekends with Matthew and Jon) so Katharine joined me on my business trip.  Given the Seattle destination (Hilary – my sister – and her family live there), it also gave us a great excuse to see them and let our three girls play together.

As the week progressed, and I arrived home from my first business trip to the Executive Retreat at 8pm on Wednesday night having worked about 40-45 hours in three days, I was lamenting leaving again on Thursday even though it was both a work and fun trip.  I was just tired.  I unpacked and repacked that evening, snuggled Matthew and crashed, trying to keep the faith that I could do it.

So, Thursday at work, Jon brought Katharine down to drop her off and we headed to the airport.  My energy had picked up, and seeing her excitement helped me over the hump to leave again.  The smile on her face when she come running into my office and how tightly she held my hand as we walked through the airport will be two memories that I will never forget.

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After I got through my work commitment on Friday morning, I met Hilary and Katharine for a lunch date and we took on the town.  Katharine had three things on her list:  1)  Put her gum on the gum wall in Seattle; 2) See the fish fly at Pike’s Place Market; and 3) Get her nails done.  Despite only an afternoon, we did it. On my list:  A nap.  I didn’t get to mine, but the excitement of seeing Katharine take in the sites, sounds and smells of the city for the first time made it worth it.

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As we bombed around Seattle, I got lots of “I love you” squeezes on my hand and heard a lot of singing out of Katharine (she sings when she is happy).  And, I forgot that I was tired.  Life is busy, and often times the whirwind makes me not live in each moment.  On what was my most tiring work weeks in awhile, I am so happy that I didn’t allow being tired to take away from this priceless time with my little one.  Cheers to many more girls weekends little K.

Saturday Morning TV – Good Parenting?

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I now understand why there is Saturday morning television (okay – now it is Netflix versus Saturday morning cartoons when I was a kid).  Our kids come bounding into to our room this morning at 6:40am, letting us know that it was time to get up.  They crawl into bed next us and we hope for a snuggle.  They have other ideas in mind including playing games that involved burrowing down under our sheets and jumping on each other and us.  Where.did.sleeping.in.go?  The solution so I could wake up slowly, have a lazy morning and enjoy my coffee-put them in front of Netflix for some Saturday morning television.  

Why do I sit here, in bed, drinking my coffee with parental guilt?  I should be relaxing, sippping my coffee and enjoying the few moments of peace and quiet before our crazy day filled with soccer games, bike riding, and house-packing commences.  Instead, guilt.  I should be out there, playing with my kids, reading them books, coming up with art projects.  Instead, I am allowing the television to act as my babysitter.  Good parenting, right?

I remember Saturday morning cartoons as a kid fondly though.  After a long week of school, playing with my friends and homework, waking up to watch some Saturday cartoons was something to look forward to.  Did it scar me?  No.  I recognize it is all about perspective.  Today, “screen time” is so prolific for our kids.  We try desprately to adhere to the no more than two hours a day, but in the land where we look at our iPhones and iPads for news, texting, reading a book, blogging and Facebook it is really hard to enforce.  Often times, what they do on our screens are play cool, educational games.  Is that bad?  or rationalization?

What is the balance?  The downside of it all is that television whether it be on Saturday or not, too much screen time makes our kids crazy.  At some point, they become whiny and demanding, wanting more.  We hold the line, and it becomes a battle that neither one of us want.  Jon and I look at each other and say, we have crossed the line. 

Anyone out there have the silver bullet?  If so, please share.  For now, I am laying in bed listening to the Octonauts in the background, blogging and drinking coffee. 

Being Grateful: Preschool Graduation

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Time is such a hard thing to keep in perspective.

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Sometimes you wish it away, like those moments you are sick in bed with the flu and you just want your sickness to be over with.  You hope beyond hope that time will pass faster so you can get back to normal.

Sometimes you wish to relive it, like those moments you reminisce about your past.  The “remember when…” moments that seem to grow in frequency as you get older.

Sometimes you wish for more of it, like those moments when your list of things to do is longer than time allows.

Sometimes it moves slow, but for me most times it moves fast.

After watching Katharine’s preschool graduation yesterday, I am simply grateful for the time I have had being a mommy to this precious little one.  It is amazing how she has grown and what a wonderful caring, little person she has become.

Confessions of a “To-Do” List-aholic

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We are in the middle of a relaxing beach vacation with our kids for the very first time.  Sunday was both of the kids first time playing at the beach.  Katharine was beyond excited.  As she played in the surf, giggles, an occasional squeal and moments of “this is amazing,” were what filled the air.  What a moment this was for her!  Her happiness filled our faces with joy just being around her.

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I sit here while the kids are napping after another fun filled morning thinking about my list of things to do both back at home and at work.  How in the world did my to-do list begin to creep back in my head?  Instead of heading upstairs to relax, or reading a book, I pull out my computer and begin down a path of checking email…almost out of habit.  Has my busy lifestyle made me incapable of just relaxing?  What the hell am I doing.

Today, I am confessing.  In hopes to not make this my path for the afternoon, I am writing this blog instead of doing my work email (oh damn- the notification of another email just popped up….hold strong).  I am choosing that a “to-do” list shouldn’t run my life, despite how busy I am.  I am choosing that by confessing, I am taking back control.  Working too much is not a forgone conclusion.  I refuse to accept that my email and my work list can control my life.  It starts today.

My commitment for this week is to get back on vacation, and stay there;  to start squealing with my kids on the beach when the surf touches my toes; to a margarita (or two) for lunch; and to a nap snuggling with my beautiful little kids.  I will be back next week!