Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. I hope that this day finds you relaxing and taking a few moments for yourself. My morning has started out wonderfully – sleeping in as much as possible (almost made 8am!), coffee in bed, time to write and my cute littles helping Jon with breakfast.
I became a mom in 2009 when Katharine came into this world. It seemed like a long time coming with a miscarriage along the way. My mind was blown away by this little package of joy (and tears) that we had created. Jon and I lived in Phoenix and brought this little bundle home to our small apartment, not knowing what we had gotten into.
Today, we are blessed with a caring, intelligent, strong, opinioned little 7 1/2 year old who is out to take on the world. She makes me smile every day. Posed below helping with Mother’s Day brunch preparation.
Two years and 4 months later, our family became complete when Matthew was born. By this time, we had settled back into Park City and I thought I had this mom thing down. 1 + 1 definitely equaled way more than 2. Matthew was a calm little one, just rolling with it when his two year old sister gave him aggressive hugs and tried to “help.”
Matthew just turned five years old, and has fully lived up to his nickname (#shifty), so pictures of him not moving are hard to find. He is one of the most kind, earnest kids I have ever met. He loves life and makes us laugh daily. I have never met a five year old who builds Legos like he can, and he still snuggles me every morning. Posed below at his first ever t-ball game.
Being a mother is more than I ever imagined. It has challenged me to slow down and take it in, with the knowledge that these days won’t last forever. Here are a few things that I have learned in the last seven years that in reflection have helped me to become a better person.
- Being a mom means being comfortable with constant change. Early in Katharine’s life I remember thinking, I have finally figured this thing out (happened to be relative to her sleeping). The next day maybe even the next hour, things changed. Before kids, I thought I had life figured out. I had a plan, and overall things seemed to go according to the plan. Now, that just doesn’t work (it probably wasn’t working before either). Having kids makes it incredibly obvious that you have to be flexible.
- Being a mom has helped me enjoy the journey so much more. Often times before kids, I would set a goal and celebrate when I reached it. Not a bad thing, but what I missed in that process was enjoying the actual journey. With my kids, the journey is the fun. Matthew is learning t-ball right now, and last week I went to his game and just giggled the whole time as they ran all over the field doing about everything but playing t-ball.
- Being a mom means you have to understand your values. The clearer that I have been on what matters to me, what I value, the better I am for my kids. One of the strongest examples of this for me has been with working out. I have had an on and off love affair with fitness my entire life. The last four years I have refocused myself on being strong and fit in order to live the healthiest life I can. I value this and now so do my kids.
- Being a mom means little eyes are always watching. I want to role model for Katharine and Matthew that you can be a confident, smart, caring mom and worker at the same time. I hope that this helps them to know that anything is possible.
- Being a mom is about helping my kids make their own dreams come true. We talk about this a lot with together. We can’t do it for them, it is about them identifying what their dreams are, working hard to make them happen and enjoying their own journey.
I am humbled by how lucky I feel on this Mother’s Day. Being a mom is the best.
I find myself at a loss of words after this monumental week.
Katharine was beyond excited to stay up to watch Hillary Clinton accept the presidential nomination. As was I. I found myself moved almost to tears by Chelsea’s introduction (however not comfortable Chelsea looked), by Hilary’s deliberate recognition of the power of the moment, by her humble acknowledgement of both her strengths (work horse) and her weaknesses (show horse), but most notably by Katharine’s excitement about the evening.
For her it was just about the experience, about learning and understanding how this election thing works, about being able to stay up late, about seeing daughter introduce her mother for something exciting, and about the fascination with the role of our President. And, it was of course cool that it was a girl. She asked me if I was ever going to have her introduce me for something like that. She wondered if the whole world was like America.
For me it was about making history, about hard work, about perseverance, about striving for something despite all odds, and about creating opportunity for all of the little girls that were watching. And, it was of course because it was a girl. I had hoped for this day for a long time. It made me proud of America.
I know that my politics haven’t always lined up with Hillary, and I am certain that I don’t agree with everything that she is advocating for, but #ImWithHer because of the lesson that she can teach America and the world. She is showing us that hard work, perseverance, dedication to a cause, and belief in equality can change the world. She is helping all of the little girls see what they can be.
Tonight when putting Katharine (6 1/2) to bed and talking about her day, she asked me an important and hard to answer question. “Mom, why aren’t there more girls in my mountain biking camp?” First of all, mountain biking camp! I know, only in Park City does a 6 1/2 year old have a bike nicer than I did at age 25, and get to go to a camp to learn to ride trails that I only got brave enough to take on 15 years ago.
She proceeded to say, “Having more girls would be more fun. Plus mom, we can do anything that boys can do.” Proud mommy moment. After a few minutes, I realized that I had never answered her question. Why aren’t there more girls? I proceeded to tell her that at my work, I often times am the only girl so I know how she feels. I shared with her that it would be more fun if there were more of us (not stated to her…and more productive, and more diverse in opinions, and better for business). I told her that the good news is that I work with a ton of girls. In fact, at my company, there are more girls than boys (we are over 60% female). She gave me a bright-eyed smile. I told her that in my office there are actually about 600 girls. She proceeded to ask me if there were only a few boys because that would be “cool”, to which I said nope, about 500. She was pretty jazzed that at my work the girls outnumbered the boys. We talked about it more and I told her that it was actually really great that there were all kinds of people at my work…boys, girls, young people, old people, white people, black people (I know in Utah!). She thought that it would be “better if in her mountain biking class there could be all kinds of people too.”
But, I never answered her question. Why aren’t there more girls? I want to protect her from some of the truths that are probably behind that question. Maybe more parents believe their boys should be mountain bikers than girls? Maybe society teaches little girls to choose ballet camp instead (trust me Katharine wants to do that too, and Matthew has never asked). I avoided the question, hoped to teach her that girls can do anything boys can do, and vice versa, and hoped that what she remembers is that having all kinds of people in all things makes everything better.
I am one lucky momma. This weekend I had the luxury of taking Katharine (my now 5 3/4 year old – that 3/4 is very important to her) for her first girls weekend. I was coming off a very busy week at work (fall budgeting, executive retreat in Southern Utah). The prompting of the girls weekend location (Seattle) was because I had a business committment there on Friday morning. A few weeks ago, as we were planning for this busy week, I was lamenting being gone out of town from Jon and the kids for 4 of the 5 weeknights. So, we decided it was a great time for the first of what will hopefully be many girls weekends (and boys weekends with Matthew and Jon) so Katharine joined me on my business trip. Given the Seattle destination (Hilary – my sister – and her family live there), it also gave us a great excuse to see them and let our three girls play together.
As the week progressed, and I arrived home from my first business trip to the Executive Retreat at 8pm on Wednesday night having worked about 40-45 hours in three days, I was lamenting leaving again on Thursday even though it was both a work and fun trip. I was just tired. I unpacked and repacked that evening, snuggled Matthew and crashed, trying to keep the faith that I could do it.
So, Thursday at work, Jon brought Katharine down to drop her off and we headed to the airport. My energy had picked up, and seeing her excitement helped me over the hump to leave again. The smile on her face when she come running into my office and how tightly she held my hand as we walked through the airport will be two memories that I will never forget.
After I got through my work commitment on Friday morning, I met Hilary and Katharine for a lunch date and we took on the town. Katharine had three things on her list: 1) Put her gum on the gum wall in Seattle; 2) See the fish fly at Pike’s Place Market; and 3) Get her nails done. Despite only an afternoon, we did it. On my list: A nap. I didn’t get to mine, but the excitement of seeing Katharine take in the sites, sounds and smells of the city for the first time made it worth it.
As we bombed around Seattle, I got lots of “I love you” squeezes on my hand and heard a lot of singing out of Katharine (she sings when she is happy). And, I forgot that I was tired. Life is busy, and often times the whirwind makes me not live in each moment. On what was my most tiring work weeks in awhile, I am so happy that I didn’t allow being tired to take away from this priceless time with my little one. Cheers to many more girls weekends little K.
Time is such a hard thing to keep in perspective.
Sometimes you wish it away, like those moments you are sick in bed with the flu and you just want your sickness to be over with. You hope beyond hope that time will pass faster so you can get back to normal.
Sometimes you wish to relive it, like those moments you reminisce about your past. The “remember when…” moments that seem to grow in frequency as you get older.
Sometimes you wish for more of it, like those moments when your list of things to do is longer than time allows.
Sometimes it moves slow, but for me most times it moves fast.
After watching Katharine’s preschool graduation yesterday, I am simply grateful for the time I have had being a mommy to this precious little one. It is amazing how she has grown and what a wonderful caring, little person she has become.
We are in the middle of a relaxing beach vacation with our kids for the very first time. Sunday was both of the kids first time playing at the beach. Katharine was beyond excited. As she played in the surf, giggles, an occasional squeal and moments of “this is amazing,” were what filled the air. What a moment this was for her! Her happiness filled our faces with joy just being around her.
I sit here while the kids are napping after another fun filled morning thinking about my list of things to do both back at home and at work. How in the world did my to-do list begin to creep back in my head? Instead of heading upstairs to relax, or reading a book, I pull out my computer and begin down a path of checking email…almost out of habit. Has my busy lifestyle made me incapable of just relaxing? What the hell am I doing.
Today, I am confessing. In hopes to not make this my path for the afternoon, I am writing this blog instead of doing my work email (oh damn- the notification of another email just popped up….hold strong). I am choosing that a “to-do” list shouldn’t run my life, despite how busy I am. I am choosing that by confessing, I am taking back control. Working too much is not a forgone conclusion. I refuse to accept that my email and my work list can control my life. It starts today.
My commitment for this week is to get back on vacation, and stay there; to start squealing with my kids on the beach when the surf touches my toes; to a margarita (or two) for lunch; and to a nap snuggling with my beautiful little kids. I will be back next week!
“I just wanna make you laugh. I just wanna see that smile. Babe, we’re only here, oh, for a little while. I just wanna hold you till we fall asleep. I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace.” – O.A.R.
We have been fighting sickness in our house for what feels like the entire winter. One of us gets sick, then the other, then Mom which takes everything down. On this late-April weekend in Park City, rain and snow have graced us with their presence waking up to a 3-4″ layer of white on everything, including our spring tulips. We decided to take it as a weekend just to hunker down in our house and be at “peace.” No commitments to anyone, no plans, just each other.
This morning as I prepared some bacon and eggs for breakfast, Matthew was building a whole scene in the living room – Dusty Crophopper was being rescued by the Fire and Rescue helicopter while Katharine was preparing for class at her art table. She was a 13 year old that can drive to school, and is practicing her cursive writing. In this land of pretend, O.A.R’s song “Peace” came on our stereo and both kids starting belting out the above lyrics almost subconsciously.
What a good memory to capture on my blog. I am grateful to have the life that I have. Today it isn’t marketing meets motherhood, it is must motherhood and being at peace.
I am 38 years old with two adorable kids and a wonderful husband. 2 working parents with travel schedules, building a new house, trying to be involved in our community, and trying to be great parents. Living life in a place I love, with the people that I love. Pretty much the luckiest woman around. You could also read this as overly busy but trying to have it all.
For the last few weeks, as I have been working on planning for my husbands 40th birthday which is coming this fall, I have been coming to grips with how short life seems. I know that this may sound melodramatic. What hit me in talking with Jon about turning 40, is that mathmatically, given the average life expectancy, we are about half way through our life (or a little past that). This can either scare me or make me celebrate what lies ahead. What it actually has caused me to do, as I start thinking about it, is to wonder if it is true. We have a number of family friends or relatives that are dealing with serious cancer, and I have a coworker who is 48 who has recently been diagnosed with Stage 2 ovarian cancer. All of it is shocking, and sad. In particular those who are so young, and haven’t lived the life that they have claimed to have wanted. It is a morbid thought, but my worry-meter has been rising. This worry was capped off this week when I attended the “Go Red for Women” luncheon hosted by the American Heart Association. One of the speakers was a 38 year old mother of two boys who had a major heart incident at the age of 31. Yikes! A little too close to home.
But, the worst thing I can do is to worry. Worry fills my head and my time with ideas and thoughts that have no fruit. So yesterday, as I sat writing this at the salon while getting my nails done during “girls day out” with my lovely Katharine, I have a renewed commitment to enjoying the moments of my life (even the stressful and busy ones). A commitment to making choices in my life and our families life (our food, our exercise, our habits) that create a long healthy life together. And, a commitment to make what I hope is a longer second half of my life even better than the first.
Christmas morning in State College with the Snavely’s. Katharine is such a big girl (4 in this picture, but five days to her 5th birthday). This holiday Katharine seems like such a grown up little girl. Between her snuggling with Gigi and Gaga in their bed, giving hugs to Matthew with “I love you” whispered in his ear, and doing her projects (learning to knit, making bracelets, sticker mosaics and her butterfly pillow), she is no longer just tearing into the gifts and not enjoying them. Her enthusiasm to live in the moment is motivating to all around her. More than once this vacation, someone has said to me, “Katharine has such a positive outlook on life.” This is one of the most important things that I hope that she learns in life. The pure joy in her eyes when she is excited melts my heart and most around her. It is wonderful to get to spend two weeks off with my sweetheart.
The other day when Katharine was working on a puzzle she leaned over to me and said, “Mom, this is a hard one.” She continued to stay determined to accomplish the puzzle as a good Stock/Snavely would. A few minutes later…”Mom, we never give up do we?” Proud mommy moment. She knew it was hard, but was willing to put the effort in to learn and accomplish what she set out to do. Jon and I pride ourselves in building a life based on working hard and not giving up on our goals. This moment of hearing her echo our behavior in her words helped me to appreciate how early we either learn or don’t learn this in our lives.
Then, I start to freak out. Am I being too ambitious as a parent? All I want to do is to teach our kids that they are in control of their lives. I hope for their ability to be determined, positive and committed to what they want in their lives. I hope that they can solve the problems that they encounter. I also want them to know that trying is all we ask of them, not necessarily succeeding and delivering a perfect outcome.
As I reflect on what made me a “never give up” person, I do worry about the downside of being determined. Much of my determination came from a desire to be perfect. This desire to be perfect, whether it was because I wanted to please others or just for myself, often times turned my determination into stress. Today, this drive for perfection has diminished a great deal – mostly due to the fact that I know it isn’t possible. That said, the perfectionist behavior rears its ugly head frequently. When it does, I generally try to turn the perfectionist behavior into the problem and work to channel my “never give up” skills into solving that problem.
So, although I am proud of what Katharine (and Matthew) are learning, I certainly hope their journey as determined kiddos and ultimately adults is also met with an acceptance and enjoyment of the moments in which they live. For them to learn this, Jon and I have to show them it is possible. Whether it be taking a random afternoon nap, having an evening dance party together, playing hooky from school every so often, or just reading a book on a snowy weekend morning, I am going to teach them through how I live how having the determination to meet your goals and living in the moment are not opposites of each other.