Thank you to all the mothers out there (especially mine!). Your tireless and constant commitment to caring for, loving, praising, teaching and supporting your kids is what makes this world a better place. I only hope that I can give to my kids what I see so many of you giving.
I was lucky enough today to spend the day with my mom (and of course my lovely kiddos and Jon), I consider myself the fortunate beneficiary of her love over all of these years. Thanks Mom!
I haven’t been posting for quite some time with the excuse that life (work and family) has gotten in my way. What I realized after some reflection this week is that I miss writing about things that matter to me. This blog has been an outlet to make that happen, so here we go again. No promises of my frequency, but you will know, if I am writing here I am probably a bit more balanced than if I am not as it means I am creating the time to reflect (and write). So, I am getting off the sidelines and back in the game.
Over the last week, I have had the fortunate opportunity to attend two separate events that are motivating me to get off the sidelines in a number of ways. The first event was the first ever Utah Wonder Women Summit. The Utah Wonder Women is a group of influential women leaders in Utah working to help each other succeed. The day long summit was an opportunity to convene with a focus on building the visibility of female leadership in Utah. This event was followed by SUREFIRE girls, an event for teenage girls in Utah to help them see the magnitude of opportunities available to them. A big shout out to Jacki Zehner, the original Utah Wonder Women, for her relentless dedication, drive and initiative to make these two events happen.
So much inspiration at these events. This photo is a picture of the SUREFIRE ambassadors, ranging from junior high through seniors in high school, on stage talking about what they are hoping to learn from the SUREFIRE event. I was struck how powerful it was for these teenagers to see a room of 100+ female leaders in the audience focused on helping each other, developing our skills, aspiring to help Utah be a better place for female leadership tomorrow than it is today. But, what made me even more amazed was the energy that I took from these ladies reminding me of my role to get of the sidelines and dedicate even more time and energy to making the community, the state, our business environment and the country a better place for these ladies than it is today.
In case I wasn’t inspired enough leaving the UWW Summit, I headed this week to FORTUNE magazine’s Most Powerful Women Next Generation conference. It was an honor to be able to attend this. I guess you can call it part two of a reinforcement to get off the sidelines. With all of the stories recently about sexual harassment and assault, much of the event had a theme of being vocal. Stories of both a pursuit for gender and race equality as well as the recent #MeToo social movement came from all sides of the room. Business leaders, athletes and entertainers spoke of their own experiences with a call to action to be vocal and through our voices ensure that equality and respect are what we expect. Hope Solo, former goalie of the US Women’s National Soccer team, spoke candidly of her pursuit for pay equality in US Soccer, and her own personal experience with harassment. She also shared her clear belief that she was fired for being vocal.
One of my favorite speakers across these two events was Pat Mitchell. Pat is known for her leadership in the media industry as a CEO, producer and curator. She has used her position of influence and leadership as a force for social change. Among other great accomplishments, she is the host and curator of the global TEDWomen conference. Her talk was on power, and how we need to own it and use it to lead and drive change. Her eloquent speech was calm, reassuring and enabled me to center myself. We often perceive power to be masculine, but it isn’t. The definition of power is the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events. Nothing masculine about that. One of the quotes she shared was from Bella Abzug, a lawyer, member of the US House of Representatives, and social activist and leader of the Women’s movement.
“Women will change the nature of power, rather than power changing the nature of women.” – Bella Abzug
Both of these events came at a great time for me. I have been working very hard lately and am probably off balance with how I am spending my time. I am still home for my family in the evenings at a reasonable time, working out a few times a week and trying my best to be a great spouse. So, it isn’t about work-life balance. That said, I am relentlessly moving when I am gone, pushing myself to always keep taking a step forward on the issues that matter every day in my work. There is a lot of good in this (especially for our business).
What I recognized after this week is that by dedicating so much energy here, I may be missing some of the things that I need to be doing to fulfill my purpose. I need to get off the sidelines, but not in a way that drives more “movement” at the office, or more stress. Instead, getting off the sidelines is about choosing to channel my “movement” to more effectively influence positive change for women in business, media and policy. So, thanks Pat for the advice. I am planning on owning my power and using it to drive change.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. I hope that this day finds you relaxing and taking a few moments for yourself. My morning has started out wonderfully – sleeping in as much as possible (almost made 8am!), coffee in bed, time to write and my cute littles helping Jon with breakfast.
I became a mom in 2009 when Katharine came into this world. It seemed like a long time coming with a miscarriage along the way. My mind was blown away by this little package of joy (and tears) that we had created. Jon and I lived in Phoenix and brought this little bundle home to our small apartment, not knowing what we had gotten into.
Today, we are blessed with a caring, intelligent, strong, opinioned little 7 1/2 year old who is out to take on the world. She makes me smile every day. Posed below helping with Mother’s Day brunch preparation.
Two years and 4 months later, our family became complete when Matthew was born. By this time, we had settled back into Park City and I thought I had this mom thing down. 1 + 1 definitely equaled way more than 2. Matthew was a calm little one, just rolling with it when his two year old sister gave him aggressive hugs and tried to “help.”
Matthew just turned five years old, and has fully lived up to his nickname (#shifty), so pictures of him not moving are hard to find. He is one of the most kind, earnest kids I have ever met. He loves life and makes us laugh daily. I have never met a five year old who builds Legos like he can, and he still snuggles me every morning. Posed below at his first ever t-ball game.
Being a mother is more than I ever imagined. It has challenged me to slow down and take it in, with the knowledge that these days won’t last forever. Here are a few things that I have learned in the last seven years that in reflection have helped me to become a better person.
I am humbled by how lucky I feel on this Mother’s Day. Being a mom is the best.
I had the privilege of attending Fortune Brainstorm Health last week, an innovation conference working to bring together the best minds in Healthcare, Technology and Business to make a difference in healthcare. The theme of this years conference was “Accelerating the Health Revolution.” The topics were broad and thought provoking. I found myself at the event wondering how I could do more on a day to day business to help. Since the conference the question has only gotten louder in my mind. In reflection, I think that the starting point is to write down my top observations after review of my notes. Maybe this exercise will lead my somewhere…
An amazing, thought-provoking event to say the least. What do I do with it? I don’t know. What I do know is that we all have a role in the Future of Healthcare. Whether as a consumer of care, the owner of our own personal health or as an activist for a cause, we are all leaders in this challenge. That said, senior corporate executives have a unique role given their influence. I will paraphrase (and adjust) a quote from Mark Bertolini:
“The role of a CEO (substitute any senior executive leader in my point of view) is the power to convene, and the power to set the agenda.” – Mark Bertolini, Aetna
There are very few times in my life that I am alone any more. Especially, times where I am alone and not connected to someone or something via my phone. This is one of those times (don’t be bothered by the being connected to my blog….that is a part of the relief). The kids are off to a movie with Jon and I am due to a friends house in about an hour. But, for these 45 minutes, I am alone. No sounds around me in the house other than my fingers typing, and the hum of our house as the dishwasher runs and the laundry is in action.
I realize in this moment how I have almost forgotten how to sit silently. The things I should be doing race through my mind: should I prep the food for dinner; is the laundry ready to fold; maybe I should squeeze a quick workout in; I haven’t called my best friends from high school/college in a long time and should take this minute to make that happen; I have been meaning to get back to the book I got half way through on vacation and now is the time; what could I start on to make this week go more smoothly. So, I force myself to keep writing as a way to not relinquish this time to the constant to do list in my mind.
When did this happen? Was it the onset of kids that took all my quiet moments and turned them into times filled with things? Was it my job progressing to the point where I don’t have time during the day to take a deep breath? Did this set the precedent for “no deep breaths, ever”? Maybe it is because our world is on at all times (email, text, Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, etc.). Maybe it is because Jon and I are productive people….and don’t want to let a minute not help us to progress something forward.
In reflection, it is a choice. I like to squeeze a lot into my life. I enjoy the things with my family, and my job, and socializing as a part of our community. I enjoy my friends, and the outdoors where we live and staying connected to friends from prior times in my life via phone, text, email. I enjoy the busy.
But, I also like the quiet. The slight dripping I hear from the kitchen sink, the idea of a nap, being bored. A weekend with no plans, the time to take a spur of the moment road trip. The ability to answer my phone when my mom calls versus texting her I am in the middle of something. The free brain space to dream about things that make me happy, without making a plan about them….simply imagining what could be.
To live my life to the fullest, it takes the ability to do both of these things. Not letting either the busy or the quiet dominate my time. Being comfortable telling myself to redirect if I get too heavy on one side of the scale. This is one of those moments. I have been running too hard the last few months. Not enough quiet, not enough writing, not enough open space. It shows up in my health (sitting here with a cold), my kids (they show me my stress as if they are a mirror) and my temperament. Time to redirect.
What a great day. One that helps me to envision what the next ten years may feel like (knock on wood our kids still like us for ten years). We went to our first Broadway musical as a family. It was a big kid thing, with Matthew turning five in a few weeks.
My loves got all dressed up, and we took off for an outing as a family date. An awesome show, great company, and a day to reflect on how lucky that I am. The most memorable part of the day was Matthew on my lap at the theater, clapping in earnest, yelling “Bravo” at the end of the first act.
Art through the eyes of a child. He was in awe of the performance, and in reflection, I am in awe of him. Sometimes you forget how amazing the things are that you get to live, until you see them through the eyes of a child.
I find myself at a loss of words after this monumental week.
Katharine was beyond excited to stay up to watch Hillary Clinton accept the presidential nomination. As was I. I found myself moved almost to tears by Chelsea’s introduction (however not comfortable Chelsea looked), by Hilary’s deliberate recognition of the power of the moment, by her humble acknowledgement of both her strengths (work horse) and her weaknesses (show horse), but most notably by Katharine’s excitement about the evening.
For her it was just about the experience, about learning and understanding how this election thing works, about being able to stay up late, about seeing daughter introduce her mother for something exciting, and about the fascination with the role of our President. And, it was of course cool that it was a girl. She asked me if I was ever going to have her introduce me for something like that. She wondered if the whole world was like America.
For me it was about making history, about hard work, about perseverance, about striving for something despite all odds, and about creating opportunity for all of the little girls that were watching. And, it was of course because it was a girl. I had hoped for this day for a long time. It made me proud of America.
I know that my politics haven’t always lined up with Hillary, and I am certain that I don’t agree with everything that she is advocating for, but #ImWithHer because of the lesson that she can teach America and the world. She is showing us that hard work, perseverance, dedication to a cause, and belief in equality can change the world. She is helping all of the little girls see what they can be.
Tonight when putting Katharine (6 1/2) to bed and talking about her day, she asked me an important and hard to answer question. “Mom, why aren’t there more girls in my mountain biking camp?” First of all, mountain biking camp! I know, only in Park City does a 6 1/2 year old have a bike nicer than I did at age 25, and get to go to a camp to learn to ride trails that I only got brave enough to take on 15 years ago.
She proceeded to say, “Having more girls would be more fun. Plus mom, we can do anything that boys can do.” Proud mommy moment. After a few minutes, I realized that I had never answered her question. Why aren’t there more girls? I proceeded to tell her that at my work, I often times am the only girl so I know how she feels. I shared with her that it would be more fun if there were more of us (not stated to her…and more productive, and more diverse in opinions, and better for business). I told her that the good news is that I work with a ton of girls. In fact, at my company, there are more girls than boys (we are over 60% female). She gave me a bright-eyed smile. I told her that in my office there are actually about 600 girls. She proceeded to ask me if there were only a few boys because that would be “cool”, to which I said nope, about 500. She was pretty jazzed that at my work the girls outnumbered the boys. We talked about it more and I told her that it was actually really great that there were all kinds of people at my work…boys, girls, young people, old people, white people, black people (I know in Utah!). She thought that it would be “better if in her mountain biking class there could be all kinds of people too.”
But, I never answered her question. Why aren’t there more girls? I want to protect her from some of the truths that are probably behind that question. Maybe more parents believe their boys should be mountain bikers than girls? Maybe society teaches little girls to choose ballet camp instead (trust me Katharine wants to do that too, and Matthew has never asked). I avoided the question, hoped to teach her that girls can do anything boys can do, and vice versa, and hoped that what she remembers is that having all kinds of people in all things makes everything better.
How do I find time to disconnect? In todays busy world of two kids, two jobs in our family, a fair amount of work travel, and building and now moving into our new house this seems to be the thing I have the hardest time with. There is the literal disconnecting, from either work or technology. I have gotten better at the work physicial disconnect over time. I am there at 8:30 and I leave by 5:30 almost without fail. The mental and technology disconnects have been much harder for me. In fact, the more I have time to think at work, the more time my brain stays engaged outside of my desk hours. And technology, ugh, no good at this.
My technology diconnect used to be via reading a book headed to bed. Lately that hasn’t worked. My book is on my iPad which is the source of most of my connections in the world (my work calendar, my email, the internet, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and this blog). I find myself instead of taking 30 minutes to read my book that I get started reading and then remember the ten things that I had meant to do that day and I begin to tackle a few on the spot. Is it just that the device is associated with productivity? Anyone else have this problem?
I am considering starting to read real books again. Honest-to-god printed books. So, 2000’s of me. My other solution is banning the iPad from my bedroom. That seems not practical though. It serves as my music, my alarm, my source of book, and a way to catch up on the news. Maybe I am rationalizing, but this doesn’t seem practical.
The only solution that I have had recently is the gym. Being there has helped to mentally disconnect. I go there and I am only focused on the physicial activity. This is giving me at least one hour, three days a week of separation from my to-do list. Not enough, but a start.
Please give me some advice if you are reading this. All of us have this challenge in some way, especially with technology, and I am wondering how you all are tackling it out there.
Over the last month, and in particular the past two weeks, we have been in the midst of fall planning. I tend to love this time of year, despite the fact it makes us really busy, because it causes us to step back from our day to day and assess how things are going and where we should go from here. These reflection and assessment times are key elements to helping us propel our organization and our business to the next level.
After a tiring and inspiring two weeks, where I stepped away from my daily whirlwind for a full five days, whether it be for our executive retreat or my team’s leadership planning summit, I wonder out-loud (if that is what writing a blog is?) why I don’t do this more often? There is something ceremonious about the fall planning retreat, but truthfully I felt like we moved the needle on our organization more in the last few weeks that I may have all year. So, why not do this more? Why do we as business leaders see stepping away from the whirlwind as a luxury, or a bi-annual event, versus thinking of stepping back as more of the norm?
To be clear, I am not talking about having more “retreats” or big, off-site events, but instead I am advocating for creating more brain space in our schedules as leaders. Time more regularly to think and reflect, to innovate and be creative. This year, I have been working to create 90 minutes of unscheduled time on my calendar every single day. This is really hard. I have more than 100 people who want regular one-to-one meetings with me, as well as being a part of business reviews and accountability sessions with my team and others in the organization. I am a part of at least two teams (mine and our executive team) whose team meetings alone take 10-12 hours a month out of my schedule, not to mention the working teams that break out of these groups to help to move key initiatives and projects forward. How, amongst all of these pulls on my time, can I create more unscheduled time in my calendar? And, since I am not used to having it, how will I prevent myself from losing it to distraction if it arrives?
With this pursuit, I have definitely improved my time dedication to assessment and reflection, but not near to where I would like it to be. Here are a few things that I have learned that may help in this journey, or at least remind me in the future, as I am sure I will have times I forget.
I guess it would be fitting to close this blog post with a commitment. In a life with a lot of things pulling at me – my adorable children, a desire to have quality time with Jon, my job, business travel on both sides of our family and a desire to stay healthy – it is easy to not keep up with this. My commitment today is that I will keep trying, and not be frustrated with my progress or failures.
Marketing Meets Motherhood 