So, what is it?  After about two months of posting on this blog stress-free, I decided to go public on facebook and at work that I was doing the blog.  What was an outlet for me to write and just be me, became all of a sudden stressful.  What is it about putting yourself out there that brings pressure?

It stems from expectations.  Prior to going public, the only expectation that I had of myself was to enjoy what I was writing.  I started to write this blog as a place where I can be as real as I want to be…a place to bring together the parts of my life.  Prior to blogging, I found myself having so many things that I wanted to say and so many stories that I wanted to tell.  I never had a place for it in my life.  My relationshps, my job and my lack of vulernability just didn’t allow for it.  This blog became a place to channel this energy with no fear and no expectations.

Now, I have lifted the my expectations of myself.  In the process, I became afraid of exposure and failure.  I am hoping that writing about it tonight helps to alleviate this fear and to release my expectations.  Introduce uncomfortable.

As I worked on blog topics for this week (which I hope will all show the light of day), this one was the one that I thought I could do. My commitment for this week is to work hard to not fear putting myself out there.  Step 1:  This blog post.