Little Miss Magic

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Tonight while putting Katharine to bed she wanted to listen to music.  My phone was in my pocket and I decided this would be a nice relaxing way to spend the next ten minutes despite my dread for “Let It Go”, “Do You Want to be a Snowman” and other Frozen songs I was certain she would select.  Jon is gone traveling and after a long day, even these tunes provide a welcome quiet moment while snuggling one of my favorite little people.

I turned my phone over to her and let her navigate through the music selection to pick what she wants.  These little four-year old fingers are amazingly agile at navigating through the iPhone music selection so I drifted into thought of my day and what else I still needed to do tonight before I could retire to bed myself.  Before I knew it, Little Miss Magic by Jimmy Buffett was playing and Katharine snuggled up tight to sing.

Momentarily, I forgot everything but the journey I have been on with this precious little one.  How her 4 1/2 years of life have helped me to realize how important things like the warm breeze on my not so gentle skin are things not to take for granted.  Katharine kept singing through the whole song, to my amazement, and as the song closed let me know that she picked it because she is daddy’s “Little Miss Magic” and that she knows while he is on his trip that he is thinking of her.

A moment I won’t forget.  Goodnight, Little Miss Magic.

Gaining Perspective

Does everything need to have a goal, a purpose, a schedule or a way it “should” happen? I would love to say it doesn’t in my life, but it wouldn’t be true.  It seems that in order to accomplish everything that I do these days, everything is scheduled and analyzed. Starting at 6am with a workout through 9pm once two kids are in bed, there is a purpose and schedule for almost every minute of my life.  After 9pm, I try to catch up on everything that didn’t meet the daytime cut which can include chilling with Jon, reading a book, blogging, cleaning up email from work, or just brainless television.  Occasionally, a girls night trumps the evening routine.

This last weekend started with me leaving work at noon on Friday – a rare treat.   Jon and I had scheduled an anniversary two night getaway at the Montage in Deer Valley Friday and Saturday night.  So, I drove up from work and we had a late lunch.  Before departing for Deer Valley, I decided to squeeze in my workout since I had missed it Friday morning.  So, I took off from our house on my mountain bike with a plan and a schedule.  I had to be back within an hour so we could take off for our relaxing weekend.  Mid-trail ride, while I stressed about the pace I was on, and whether I would make it back by our scheduled departure time while getting an adequate workout in, I stopped and took the picture above….and took a deep breath.

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Who was I racing?  Why did I feel like I had a scheduled departure time for our “relaxing” staycation that had no start time?  Why did I feel like if I didn’t ride the trail I set out to ride, I wasn’t getting “enough” exercise?  Wow.  Perspective needed.

It all worked out.  I took a left-turn on my ride, where I was supposed to go straight.  I looked up while I was riding my bike and took in the early fall leaves instead of focusing on my handlebars.  Ultimately, I went “late” to my relaxing anniversary weekend and everything was fine.  My daily reality is that I put undue stress and pressure on myself because I think the only way to accomplish my schedule is through perfection.  Not true.  Releasing the pressure made me enjoy things more.

Tonight I am as relaxed as I have been in a long time.  After living through a weekend with no schedule and a lot of fun, I have realized I need to let go more.  I need to live with less rules, and less expectations of myself.  From here, my challenge is to continue this perspective by trying my best not to have a schedule that makes me lose this perspective.

Sunday Mornings

The difference in Sunday mornings is one the biggest changes in life since kids. Jon and I went out last night and made it home by 11:30p. Late in our world, not even close to what Saturday nights used to look like. Without fail, the nights we are out late our kids wake up early the next day. It is like they know that mom and dad need the sleep more than ever and they are determined to show us who is boss. So, Matthew decided 5:30a was a good time to try to get up this morning. I laid in bed, listening to him calling for me on the monitor wishing for a mute button.

So, we were up. Instead of our historical morning news shows that were our pattern before kids, “Elmo Pottytime” was the program of choice this morning. And, pancakes instead of omlettes. And, playing princess, queen and castle instead of reading Facebook posts. My mom is here so right now she is playing more with the kids while I take a late-morning (oh wait it is only 9:15a) moment to drink my coffee, listen to the Avett Brothers and write a quick post.

You wonder what we did with our time before kids. Although they make me tired (3 cups of coffee in by 9am), the pure joy they exude when playing is a reminder to live in the moment. So, time for the moment. I am headed
back to go play princesses. I am certain that since I have been away for a moment, I have been demoted to squire or cook in the castle hierarchy.